For some years now members of Southport Yacht Club on the Gold Coast have unfailingly met in the bar at around five o’clock to imbibe, and enjoy a liberal dose of camaraderie with their mates – but no more.
They no longer have the time – literally – because someone has stolen the club’s clock.
The reason that the members were so punctual with their five o’clock drinking habit was because there was no other time – every numeral on the face of the club bar clock was a ‘5’, so you were never late for a tipple.
While no direct allegations have been minuted by club officials, it just so happened that the timing of the disappearance of the club clock coincided with the arrival of the fleet in this year’s Sydney to Gold Coast yacht race.
'Let’s face it – there’s no denying the club’s clock has bundied off in mysterious circumstances,' Southport Yacht Club’s Commodore, Ian Hall, chimed in when asked about the disappearance, 'and needless to say, the members are ticked off.
'We don’t really care who has got their hands on the club clock, but we’d just like to have ‘hour’ clock back sometime soon – and not looking second hand.'
Commodore Ian Hall said that the club was willing to pay a ransom for the clock – like a jug of rum & Coke – but before any negotiations could begin the club would need timely evidence that it was still capable of keeping time with the club’s hours of operation.
'The club is also willing to pay a similar fee for any information leading to the solving of the mystery of the disappearance of the club’s clock,' Ian Hall added. 'Alternatively, the person who decided the clock needed a new wall to hang on might like to take up a new challenge and secretively put it back in its rightful place at the club after next year’s Audi Sydney Gold Coast race, just as they timed its removal so superbly this year.'
Regardless, the big question for everyone is now: will the mystery disappearance of Southport Yacht Club’s ‘Five O’clock Clock’ be solved?
Only time will tell!
Any confession, or vital information as to the whereabouts of the club clock, should be directed to Bronwen Ince at Southport Yacht Club: firstname.lastname@example.org
by Rob Mundle - SYC
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3:22 AM Sat 11 Aug 2012GMT
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